If Simon Had A Girlfriend
by SweetSuicune
Summary: This is basically a crack story. Not to be taken seriously. I got bored one night and wrote this. It's a short about a scene of Simon from the Yogscast and his girlfriend...if he ever got one.


It was just a regular day for Lewis and Simon. They were doing their usual, playing games over the PC, headphones strapped on, absorbed in their own little world that they like to share with each other from time to time.

"Simon, you've got a creeper to your right."

"Oh! Righto, thanks, Lewis."

"No problem, friend. Now, as I was saying...I think we should put some sort fo skylight in our new mansion. Maybe add a bit of shrubs to the front...and maybe some plants on the inside. I've learned how to make more 'interior design' in Mincraft."

"So shall I start with the shrubs in the front, or the skylight? You'd probably be best to do the 'interior design.' I'm no good at that rubbish."

"Don't call it rubbish. I'll show you how later, but go ahead and work on the skylight now."

"Will do, Lewis. Will do." Simon began to labor away in the game. Having his avatar swing the pickaxe here and there. He worked on making it a perfect pixelated circle.

This took a bit of trial and error for Simon, because he didn't have the generator site up. He'd have to make a tower of dirt to lift his avatar up to see if the circle looked symmetrical. Sighing, Simon trekked back down the dirt tower and continued to chip away at the circle, it still wasn't quite right.  
Suddenly, the in real life Simon felt a pair of arms wrap around his neck. They felt cool on his skin, and a pleasant smell brushed his senses. The hands lifted up to his head set and removed them from his red ears (the damned headset would get uncomfortable after wearing them for a while, making Simon's ears hot and red.) The hands then moved to Simon's shoulders, massaging them. Simon groaned in pleasure.

"Good morning, love" The female voice chirped.

"Hey, is it really morning already?" Simon moved his head to look at the woman's glowing face. She looked like an angel. Her strawberry blonde curls outlined her face in the most complimenting way.

"Mhm. You've messed up your schedule again, I'm afraid." Her cool hand cupped Simon's warm cheek. Simon closed his eyes in comfort. "I should be chastising you, but instead I've made sandwiches, what would you like to drink?"

"Some O.j. would be lovely, thanks. Oh, after we eat, would you like to join me and Lewis in some Minecrafting?" He turned his swivel chair toward the door to where she now stood. He didn't notice until now that she was wearing a large shirt with his Minecraft avatar's face on it. It was so long that he couldn't tell if she was wearing shorts under it or not. His eyes traveled up her long legs, then rested on her face. Her hand was settled on the door frame. She said sure and that she would bring the laptop in after they ate. Simon quickly put the headset back on.

"Lewis, my lady friend and I are going to eat; I'm going to have the headset off, so you don't hear my chewing."

"Your lady friend? Now, Simon, is this a lady friend or a lady friend?"

Simon giggled like a school girl. "I don't kiss and tell," he said in a sing song voice. "Anyway, away from headset. Use chat to converse."  
Simon's love sat down his plate of sandwiches and crisps down. "Here you go, Honey."

"Mmmmm they look fantastic, thank you." he took a sip of the ice cold orange juice. "Anything interesting happen last night?"

She shook her head. "I came in contact with Hannah. She's really nice. Then I played some ol' Borderlands for a bit. I stopped playing, then popped in a movie, made some popcorn, and went to bed." She took a bit of her sandwich and a swig of her milk. "Did you two finish your mansion?"

"Yeah, yeah. We're just doing touch-ups now. I'm putting in a sky light, and shrubs later, while Lewis is doing some interior decorating or something. I think later, we're going to try and get a blaze rod from the nether to make a brewing stand."

She shuddered, pulling up another swivel chair next to Simon. "I never did like the nether. I always get lost and killed. One time, my freaking portal went out, so I sat there wondering what I can do to light it again. Since you can't get steel and gravel in the nether. It took me an hour to realize, I could change the settings to LAN, turn on cheats, and spawn in another flint and steel. Never went back to the Nether again."

The story had Simon laughing. "Hey, atleast you made it back. I probably wouldn't have been smart enough to do all of that. I would've dug all the way out of the world, or purposely set myself on fire to die and spawn back to the overworld."  
This time, she giggled. It sounded like angels to Simon. He never has been this inlove with a girl before. His eyes told her to be careful and to take care of him. He didn't want to be broken, especially by this stiriking woman.

"Simon?" Her voice brought him back into the real world again. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

His face grew a slight red color. "Er, nothing. I was just wondering how a man like me could ever get a woman like you...seriously."  
She laughed, then made her way onto Simon's lap. She tangled her hand in his hair, "For one, you've got an amazing humour and two, your eyes are amazingly rich in color...If I told you anything else I'd have to tie you up and lock you away." She kissed his forehead. "I just love you, Simon. You're amazing, and adorable, and funny, and you're a great friend."

Simon kissed her on the lips this time, "You know...I kinda like the idea of you tying me up."  
She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, really?" she purred. "Well...If you don't mind keeping Lewis waiting...the bed in the next room-"  
Simon placed his finger on her soft lips and his hand on her thigh; she wasn't wearing shorts under the shirt after all. "A lady shouldn't say such things." He paused. "I'm already there." They moved to the next room.

Simon's computer blipped a few minutes after the two left to do other business.  
Xephos: Simon?  
Xephos: Simon? Are you there?  
Xephos: Simon!  
Xephos:...OH GROSS SIMON.


End file.
